This week’s hot topic..
The pub quiz as we used to know it is no more. I do not come to this conclusion lightly. And it has absolutely nothing to do with a night of crushing defeat at a recent quiz competition. That casual drinkers, chatting among themselves, got more points than our brave boys, has nothing to do with it. Nothing whatsoever. Honest.
The night began with cautious high hopes. Four of us from The Ship in Looe were chosen to carry the banner into battle with the cream of Cornish quizzers at a big money event organised by the brewery.
The location was The Victoria in Roche, near St Austell. There were plenty of teams lured out on a freezing night to grab the couple of grand at stake. Not to be sniffed at and a better incentive than Fergal’s bottle of Chateau De’Ath (not recommended for drinking or fabric cleaning). But hey, we have some
experience of these competitions so were ready and waiting for the questions we just knew would come up. What is the highest mountain in Europe; who won the Cup in l973, name five Kinks top ten singles, which country produces the most olive oil in Europe, the name of the new Italian leader and the longest river in the world. The money was ours.
All went pear-shaped in the first round. Put names to the pictures. They all looked alike the people who smile a lot in straight-to-video American films. I was convinced that one of the pictures was Amy Winehouse after a bad night in Newquay. It was William Shatner in drag – or somebody like that – and that’s when the sinking feeling began to grow. A bad start that got worse.
Never mind. General Knowledge coming up and we’re ready. Were there any questions about the age of Dennis the Menace? No. Anything about
who was Prime Minister at the start of the 20th century? No. What is the Saudi currency? No. Instead it was who won the X-Factor’s first
series. What was Beyonce’s second hit. What is Shania Twain’s real name. who starred in the 1999hit movie Hey Dude You’re Hot….and on and on.
It go so bad that our travelling band of groupies who were busy working their way through the wine list and talking about whatever a
gaggle of women talk about, got more points.
And that was the moment of truth. Our team (average age, well the wrong side of 50) was somewhat out of its depth in this despicable example of the dumbing down of society in general and the previously noble art of pub quizzes in particular.
And so, chastened and even more aware of dodgy knees and hair loss, we trooped back home.
It is bad enough that snooker championships are contested by young lads who have to show a note from their mum allowing them to stay up late. I never thought I’d see bowling champions (no, not 10-pin) in their 20s. What next? Sexy cribbage? Strictly Come Sitting on a Park Bench?
Give this noble sport back to those who have trouble getting out of soft seats and know that ice-cream doesn’t taste as good as it used to. And honestly, this has nothing to do with losing at The Victoria.
By the way, the movie Hey Dude You’re Hot was made up. Maybe the rest of them were too. We will never know.
